Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Time Marches On - but not for everyone

Last week we visited my Nana for the first time *shame* since Anastasia was born. Over the winter was never a good time due to the cold-flu season and weak little immune systems for the both of them. As warm weather came around life became full of excuses, but the truth is - it's hard. It's heart-wrenching to look at a face once full of strength and command and see a vacant gaze of someone living in world outside of time. It's challenging to converse almost completely one-sided about happy memories that she no longer has.

What is not difficult is the immeasurable joy that the little ones bring just by being there. Nana does not recognize us until we address her in familiar terms, and she certainly does not know who these sweet babies are, but she knows they make her happy. This aged face which just a moment ago had no expression is suddenly filled with the radiance of motherhood as she holds the baby and sings a familiar tune with the toddler. She does not walk anymore, she needs help feeding herself, but she knows to rock a baby and gently shush a cry. She doesn't know where she lives or who comes to see her, but she knows she is a mother and responds with the same gentleness and affection of her young mothering days.

I am resolved to see her more often. It is not about if she remembers me or my visit - it's about allowing my daughters to bring her those moments of joy. I am simply a witness to a bond of Love and an experience of Joy that surpasses the human tongue.