Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Packing Crisis

It started this morning: the crisis surrounding packing for California. "What, already?", you may ask. True, I am not known for thinking this far ahead, as our trip is still over a week away. However, I suddenly realized something this morning that was the cause for great alarm. da-dum.... I have to have a bathing suit. AAUUUGGGHHHH!!! Ok, seriously, this is not the end of the world; however, look at this from the perspective of a 6-month post-partum woman. Unlike some people (*cough* Angela *cough*) I was not under my pre-pregnancy weight at my 6-week appointment. But that's ok. I can do this.

The last time I wore a bathing suit was at the beach - 6 WEEKS post birth, and it was still a maternity bathing suit. Now, let me put into words the beautiful way a woman's mind works after giving birth. Whether it be "baby euphoria" or "delusions of grandeur", right after giving birth, you think you're skinny. No no, I did not actually think I looked like Cindy Crawford, but after several months of waddling around with an extra 30 lbs and a face like a puffin, a woman feels good. This is, perhaps, a real blessing. When you are carrying a precious newborn and your whole life is wrapped around her there is no need for silly preoccupation with weight. Please, we gals deal with that all the rest of the time. It is only in retrospect that I looked at the pictures and wondered who let the beached whale in the family photo. ;-p

Now my little Isabella is 6 months (wow!) old. And I am thinking that a maternity bathing suit just will not cut it, and I don't have a mu-mu. damn. I refuse to be self-centered enough to forbid myself near the water; I will also not spend my time worrying about the retinal scars in the people who see me in said bathing suit. No, I will pack that bathing suit. I will wear it and I will get in the hot springs. (well, wouldn't you?!)

Please realize that this is not meant to be a little self-pity-party. No, I am simply in the middle of a mother's journey. The destination: a balance between hating Eve and the Fall for my imperfect body and an acceptance for the way God designed my body. I continue to battle the bulge, but in the meantime, shield your eyes.