TTT Europe - Setting expectations VS being Flexible

A friend who was in the middle of an extraordinary road trip across parts of Europe lamented that her kids were *shocked* each day when there was something else to go see and do.  Happily absorbing all of her wisdom I decided that we would talk to the kids ahead of time explaining a few of the expectations for our trip. Activities! Routines! Time rushes! Time zones!  Melatonin! Sleeping on the plane! etc etc etc.  I wanted the kids to feel a part of the planning but also to know that we were expecting them to follow along with our planning, too. I knew, of course, that this was not an "automatic fix" but rather just one more little way to tip the scales of willing participation in our favor.

We arrived in NYC on a cold and windy Halloween day, ready to burn energy before our red-eye flight. Adventure Awaits! Dropped our van, picked up rental van! Children's Museum! Park! Picnic! Jumping Jacks! Our Adventure! Walking through the city streets! Mass at St. Patrick's! Coffee! Dropped off our rental van and hauled our circus to the shuttle to the airport! Counting bags and kids the whole way, of course, each kid knowing their job! Expectations of Adventure!

Bursting with excitement and anticipation  we bustled into the airport and right into the check-in line and... the flight was cancelled. CANCELLED. The Flight. Was. Cancelled.

Y'all, I almost cried. I looked at our larger-than-average crew with corresponding baggage and those excited little faces and my heart just sank. Disguising the monumental effort this took, I threw a smile on my face, and said, "Well! Now we have an UNEXPECTED adventure!" I looked my 10-year-old-Control-Planner eldest in the eyes and opened my heart to her. I explained that this is less-than-ideal, that I was of course disappointed, as was EVERYONE there. But we had a choice - how would we respond? We can not change what happened. We can not control the change to our plans. What can we control? Ourselves. We still get to choose our attitude. So we both took a deep breath, said a little prayer, and turned to the others with smiles on our faces. She exclaims "Guys!  We did plan an adventure, but now we have a Surprise Adventure!" Daughter #2, my  Reliably Cheerful Girl turned it into a game and that sad row of airport chairs became Entertainment Central for 5 Bouncy Adventuring Kids as we awaited hotel confirmation and called our Oxford-living friends to let them know we would be a day behind.

And so we have here the lesson in NOT being in control. Travel takes planning and preparation and details, but travel also means being flexible and spontaneous. The world is bigger than we are. Life is full of surprises and mistakes and baggage cars driving into parked planes. The question is NOT "Will anything go wrong?" but rather "How will I handle it WHEN it does?"

I spend a lot of time planning and preparing and organizing for our adventures.  I have lists and systems and lots of mistakes from which to learn. Of course I will continue to do so, as it makes a huge difference in the ease of travel. But taking on adventure means embracing the unexpected, too. Many years ago when travel meant a backpack and a few days off from work the details weren't as important. But reflecting on that "easy" travel time I had not yet learned what it truly meant to be flexible. Oh sure, I dealt with delayed flights and walking to hotels, broken vehicles and remember collect calls from a payphone to your parents for a ride? Travelling with my Travelling Tramma Troop has changed the way I embrace the surprise. It is my example that teaches all these little Adventurers how to handle it; how I respond is how they will.

Our comedy of errors did not end there, either. The following night we arrived for our rescheduled flight, set to depart at 1:30 AM - 1:30 IN THE MORNING!  The gate was packed with nary a seat in view. As it turned out the flight previous to ours was delayed, which meant OURS was delayed, too. We finally boarded at 2:30 AM. Our people and bags and stroller and crutches were all spread out on the floor of the airport until 2:30 IN the MORNING.

Being able to laugh at life and alter your plans keeps travel enjoyable. We can not control life, but we can control our response to it. So we laughed our way to a free hotel stay with terrible food and an extra day in NYC.  Please let me clarify that is was not all easy, all fun and games. Of course we were disappointed, and would much rather have had the day in England with friends. I don't mean to paint a picture of a Miss Merry Sunshine Traveler. Rather, I want others, especially my kids, to know that when "Surprises" arise we have the control over our attitude. We can choose to let the unexpected ruin our trip or we can rename it "An Unexpected Adventure!"