Monday, September 14, 2009

Visitors, Anyone?

I was absentmindedly walking through the kitchen just now when I spotted it: a solitary piece of sweet potato, undoubtedly dropped by Anastasia during lunch. What had one time been a source of nutritious yumminess had morphed into a wriggling mass of scurrying black dots. My nemeses the ants were in full force thanks to the coordination of a brand-new self-feeder. I do not understand their role in this world(the ants, that is, not the self-feeder) - I'm sure someone on the food chain is thankful for his daily bread, but as for me... I mean, if St. Francis lived in modern suburbia his Canticle would surely say something like "Brother Sun, Sister Moon, Bastard Ant"... right? Sorry St. Francis, no offense meant.

So anyways, in a moment I transformed from your average housewife left to her own devices for 10 minutes alone to a maniacal deranged ant-killing machine. My favorite home remedy is plain old soapy water - it kills them on impact and is of course totally kid friendly, which is especially beneficial since the baby likes to eat whatever is dropped there for round 2 of each meal. I poured a glass of soapy water under the table and immediately discovered an important fact: one does NOT need as much soap as I used. Oh sure the ants were obliterated on impact, but my kitchen floor turned into a skating rink, as I discovered when my knees slid across the floor without the rest of me. Once that mess was cleaned up I realized, "hey! So this is what a really clean kitchen floor looks like!" And to think, it was easy (minus the hyper-extended knees). So I found myself extending my scrub area further and further and... well, before you know it I was scraping spots off the floor with my thumbnail and scrubbing the whole darn floor with hot soapy water. Out Out Damn Spots... and bacteria, and ants, and everything else!

There really was no point to this story, except that if you are considering visiting us I would recommend now - the kitchen floor is immaculate and I would hate for you to miss it.


Christine said...

oh darn, we came a day early. ;) maybe for the next game.